Thrivent hates me and has a devious, wicked plan for my life
In an earlier post, we saw how Thrivent promotes the anti-Christian belief that only the soul lives after death, without a bodily resurrection. In the same pile of questionable materials for my review, I found another publication by Thrivent seeking to make my life miserable on a much more practical level. A book called Step by Step: Your Guide to Making Practical Decisions When a Loved One Dies has a section on “Planning the Funeral or Memorial Service With the Pastor.” What they want to do is get people to pester me about having a eulogy at a funeral, or (gads!) get me to deliver one myself! From page 20:
Deciding who will deliver the eulogy
Although a eulogy is not part of the Lutheran worship order for funerals, if you would like to have some words of remembrance spoken at the end, you can discuss this with the pastor.
A eulogy may be given by yourself, the pastor, family members or friends. You may choose to have one or a few people speak.
If you, family members or friends would not feel comfortable giving the eulogy, be assured that pastors can deliver eulogies regardless of the depth of their personal relationship with the deceased. Provide the pastor with information about your loved one. Share what made your loved one special. If you prefer, you may choose to write the eulogy yourself and ask the pastor or someone else to read it.
Um … thanks, no. I love how they know perfectly well that “a eulogy is not part of the Lutheran worship order for funerals,” but then go right ahead and talk about how to make it happen. Here’s what it should have said:
“A eulogy is not part of the Lutheran worship order for funerals, because it is not appropriate to give the impression that the deceased finds merit or favor in the sight of God because of the things done in life. However, it is highly appropriate that the pastor shares aspects of the person’s life in his funeral sermon, particularly how the grace of Christ was reflected in his or her life. Provide the pastor with important information such as time and place of Baptism, a verse given at confirmation, and favorite Bible passages or hymns. The pastor will use this – along with other special memories you have – in planning the service, and in his sermon as is appropriate. If your pastor is young and inexperienced, tell him to go look at the weblog of Rev. William Weedon for samples of how this is done well, in a way that glorifies Christ.”
There. Was that so hard?
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When they were looking for names for the newly merged AAL and LB, I suggested "Brotherhood Aid Association for Lutherans". . . or BAAL.
I think a eulogy is appropriate, just not at the funeral. I recently read Christopher Buckley's book Losing Mum and Pup, and was moved by his description of the wake that was held for his venerable father. It struck me how our tradition (is it an enthic or religious thing?) lacks a proper way for friends and family to honor the dead (and thereby satisfy a deeply felt need to do so). I think there is something to be said for bringing the body home for a night (and getting it away from a ghoulish funeral 'home') and allowing friends and family to gather 'round the dearly departed, and raise a glass and offer a eulogy. Perhaps the absence of such a forum drives people to insist on eulogizing at the funeral.
Yes – nothing wrong with a eulogy, just, as you say, "not at the funeral." The fundamental problem with them *at funerals* is that people try to turn them into sermons, and pretty soon we have the dead being proclaimed as saints, angels, watching over the living, etc.
American funeral customs are lousy. We really ought to provide an appropriate forum for people to honor the dead. Just keep it out of the chancel!
Exactly – and perfectly appropriate, as well! We're facing creeping -and creepy- secularism in funerals. Now people want a "Celebration of Life", not a funeral, and eulogies that glorify the deceased, not the Word which coveys Christ. There are times I've attended funerals and was truly amazed and saddened by how the deceased was repackaged at death.
The blessing is that sharing the Word brings comfort and blessing whether the dearly departed dead was all they claim, or something less than sainted (as we all are, simul iustus, and all that). Grace upon grace, not sticky sentiment.